So I haven’t posted anything since June 2nd…
Why? I have been unmotivated and uninspired.
Sometimes you get to a point where you just don’t think that you have anything interesting to say. That’s where I’ve been mentally.
Although this is my personal attitude, from a different lens I can see that this may not necessarily be reality.
What’s been going on since we last interacted:
My faith has been tested and strengthened. I have become more committed, involved and appreciative of my involvement with our church worship team. I have been able to hear God more clearly and speak to him more easily. When I sing I can really see that I am helping the people in the church to feel HIS love. I feel like this has been a contagious light in other areas of my life. My husband and I will be volunteering in the kids room at church and we might be fostering a dog who needs a home.
I have been through a lot of ups and downs at work. I have felt very accomplished and appreciated; which is GREAT! That came to an abrupt end when, once again, 2 teammates quit. This time, there is no intention of them being replaced and I have inherited A LOT of work. It was positioned to me that it is a “growth opportunity”. I’m not so sure that is an honest reality… I feel like the juice might not be worth the squeeze. Just feeling a little underappreciated lately.
I went on vacation with my husband, his family and some family friends. I was reminded that the water is my place of peace. I am able to relax when on the beach, near the ocean. This is so rare for me and I truly appreciated every moment. I need to find a way to incorporate this into my life, so that I’m not just relaxing once a year.
I saw racism first hand and it made me sick. I was driving in my hometown and an Indian woman realized that the lane she was in turned into a right turn only lane. She put on her left turn signal for someone to let her into my lane. The lady behind her was only delayed for 10 seconds but proceeded to roll down her window, scream racist profanities, honk her horn, threaten her and looked at me like I was betraying her, as a fellow white person, to let this lady in. It was outrageous. I couldn’t believe that this happened in my sweet town. The next day I heard Trumps speech about the recent KKK events and I just felt so intolerant. What is wrong with people? #RantOver
My husband got the sexiest tattoo on his ribs; a gorgeous portrait of a wolf. It was such a fun day! We not only visited his alma mater, I was able to watch Adam Sandler movies and drink in the tattoo parlor all day long. Amazing time!
I appreciated great company on multiple occasions! I had a cookout for my birthday in July – what a great turnout! I had a wine tasting party with all of my favorite ladies and we had a stellar time. I planned an extended family outing with my father-in-law’s side of the family. There was a great turn out and it reminded me how lucky I am to call them family!
I purchased a smaller motorcycle… Piglet was just too big and scary for me. I ended up with a small Suzuki, which I named Suzy. 🙂 She’s a blast!
I discovered Fresca. Yumm!
I realized that I am not a “true Cancer”. I’m not persistent, sensitive or emotional. I think I once was more closely aligned to these traits but I’ve evolved. I have lost my will power/high motivation in a lot of aspects of my life. The only place that I am still persistent is in my career. I am lazy in my personal life and unmotivated. I need to find wherever that is hiding deep down. In regard to the last two: I have thick skin and it takes a lot to really cause me to express emotions. I am always wearing a yellow, happy facade and you’d be hard-pressed to see anything else.
That about sums it up. Wish me luck on finding my own life interesting enough to share. It’s a strange battle of perception.